It’s Ok to Quit

Today I wanted to switch up the format a little and start a conversation around a subject very dear to my heart – it’s ok to quit.

Last week I told you that it’s ok to try something new and suck at it. This week I want to balance that out with another permission – quitting.

Even if we’re good at something – it’s still ok to quit. Regardless of the number of hours we’ve put into something – it’s still ok to quit. When something truly doesn’t resonate with us we are allowed to (dare I say even encouraged to) let that ishh go.

It’s OK to Quit!

It’s Ok to Quit Books You Don’t Enjoy

Think about a book you’ve read that you thoroughly did not enjoy. For me, that book is The Goldfinch. Halfway through reading the book I knew I was not going to enjoy the rest of it – yet I kept reading. Why? 

Because society had told me the book was “good”, the book was well written and I felt like it was important to finish what I started. In reality, all I did was waste my own time. 

Was the book well written? Absolutely. Do a lot of people like the book? Absolutely. Did finishing it change how I felt about the book? No, it just made me dislike it more. I should have told myself that it was ok to quit halfway through the book.

Not enjoying something or quitting something doesn’t make it bad – it just makes it not for you. 


So just in case you need this: you can quit books you don’t like.

Good for Her, Not for Me!

This brings me to my favorite nugget I got from Amy Poehler’s book Yes, Please! “Good for her, not for me”.

I find this quote SO empowering. Not only does it apply to EVERYTHING we could possibly judge someone else on but it validates all parties. 

An example of a “good for her, not for me” moment would be career paths. My mother is a teacher of small children. Personally, I find small children exhausting after more than an hour or so. I love kids but I would opt out of spending all day with them. My mother LOVES what she does and she does it with the patience of a saint. Educating the youth – good for her, not for me. 

When we say this phrase we are taking the judgement and the comparison piece out of acknowledging our differences. Things that are not for us are not wrong – they just aren’t for us. 

Other people’s’ actions may not resonate with us but we don’t have to feel negatively towards them about it.

What Happens When We Decide It’s Not Ok To Quit

When we read a book we don’t enjoy all the way through we exert more energy into reading something we dislike than we would have if we had just let it go. Negative emotions love to come around when we force ourselves into doing things that don’t resonate with us. 

Society and the pressure we put on ourselves to meet society’s expectations convince us that we have to follow through on EVERYTHING which is absolutely exhausting. 

When we force ourselves to do things we harbor toxic emotions around them. Usually these emotions stem from the following: 

Tricking ourselves into thinking we enjoy something we don’t resonate with. 

Finding so many little moments of fun that we think we resonate with something when we do not. 

Forcing ourselves through it like a bulldozer. 

None of these are “bad” or “wrong”. Sometimes we have to do things that don’t resonate with us for our safety or health. But these take up a lot of extra energy and when the majority of our time is spent dealing with them they can leave us feeling pretty drained. I’ll give you a couple examples of how these can be a waste of energy below.

Tricking ourselves into thinking we enjoy something we don’t resonate with 

For me, this manifests in crowded bars and clubs. I used to love to go out with my friends. Sweaty dance floors, cheap drinks, sticky bathroom floors. One night I was out with friends and I looked around and realized I was miserable. I no longer wanted to wait in lines to use gross bathrooms or throw myself at the bar to get a drink. What I truly enjoyed was having fun with my friends, socializing and having nice drinks. It took me years to untangle my mind from the idea that I liked “going out”. It stopped resonating with me. So I let it go. Now I only go out to bars that aren’t crowded, sticky and actually make good drinks.

Finding so many little moments of fun that we think we resonate with something when we do not. 

My first post college temp job was as a legal assistant at a small law practice. I absolutely hated it. The lawyers were nice, the job had a really cute office dog and I made good money but it was not for me. I am not a formal wear kind of gal, I did not enjoy talking to judges on the phone and I really hated talking to potential or current clients. Because of the office dog, great location by downtown and the freedom to take mid day walks to the court house I convinced myself I liked enough of this job to stick around. In the end I think I only made it 6 weeks before resigning but I definitely would have left earlier had I not gotten lost on my silver linings hunt.

Forcing ourselves through it like a bulldozer. 

Drag your ass through it. For this I always think of must do items: group projects, reading books for school. Sometimes we have to put on our just get it done hats BUT it takes so much energy and effort to go through life like this. 

In all of these examples I gave up my negotiation power and my authenticity. I lied to myself to make our “truth” easier for society to digest. By doing this we put in so much extra energy when instead we could be practicing ease. 

Quitting Allows for Ease

Ease is surrendering to who we really are. It helps eliminate the extra effort. It helps us find flow and be more creative. 

When we practice ease we surrender. We do things that align with who we are. Hard work might still be needed to reach our goals but there is a lightness, a joy, a state of flow to it. Ease let’s our obstacles become opportunities for growth instead of roadblocks. 

When we quit what doesn’t serve us we make room for what does. We make room for what makes us happy. 

So if something is truly bringing you down “Let it Go”!

I hope this inspires you to get in touch with your wants and release something that isn’t helping you be your happiest you. 

Need help getting your life organized or making a major life change? Reach out to butreallythocoaching@gmail.com and we can chat 1×1 options.

Love you!

*I am not a medical professional. Please work with a certified professional when it comes to your physical and mental health.

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