How’s the balance on your self-trust fund looking? Mines robust but it didn’t always look like this. It took me YEARS to learn how to build my self-trust fund. And now that I think I know what I’m doing I’m ready to share a few of my self trust tidbits with you!
Harnessing and tapping into our self-trust is powerful but before we can use it we need to understand it. Self-trust is knowing that you can take care of yourself and your safety. Having self-trust in a scenario means that you trust yourself to get through it.
This article on self-trust defines it as “the firm reliance on the integrity of yourself”
I like to think of it as having your own back.
Self-trust does not mean that you know exactly how things are going to play out or how to do things perfectly but you trust yourself to do the best you can in any given scenario.
The Benefits of Self-Trust
When we move from a place of self-trust we move with confidence, independence, authority, clarity and in my experience self-love.
Self-love and self-trust go hand in hand. I’ve discovered that trusting myself is an act of self-love. Making decisions confidently and with the faith that regardless of the outcome I will figure it out has been a major declaration of self-love to myself.
Self-trust allows us to take aligned action towards our goals and helps our ego survive any mistakes we make.
How I’m Building Self-Trust
My number one act of self-trust is letting myself fail. Last week we talked about mindset myths and one of those myths was that failure is bad.
FAILURE IS NOT BAD. Failure does not make you a bad person.
Failure happens, mistakes get made, and in the moment it can feel like sh*t. What we do with that failure is what matters. If we can recognize failure when it pops up, see it as a sign to pivot and not associate with feeling bad about ourselves we can adapt, adjust and rebuild. That adaptability is what self development is all about.
So trust yourself to try and trust yourself to fail. I’ve learned more from my failures than my successes.
Another way I build my self-trust is by committing to my decisions.
This does not mean that I dig in when I am wrong or stay stuck in one spot because I’m committed to a path. What it does mean is that I follow through with the decisions and promises I make to myself.
I practice self-trust by making a decision and trusting myself to make the right one. When I first started doing this I was CONSUMED by moments of doubt and I let my “What If” Monster run rampant. After every decision and during every moment of doubt I have to remind myself “I made this choice and I trust myself to have made the right choice for this scenario”.
This will take practice!! The first big decision I made with this process was starting my coaching business. It took MONTHS of me telling myself that I made the right decision and to trust myself before it stuck.
Now I’m nowhere near perfect on this but the more I do it the easier it gets.
My suggestion would be to start small (unless you want to commit like I did and go all in). Make a choice, stick to it and every time you experience doubt tell yourself that you trust yourself to do it right the first time.
Limit the Influence of the Opinions of Others
Past Emily would ask approximately 3-5 people their opinion before making a decision. I used to make Brenton review EVERY SINGLE INSTAGRAM POST I POSTED. I did not trust myself to share my message correctly.
Now I just jump into things and ask for feedback as I’m innovating.
In my experience the best way to do this is to take action when you have an idea and just do it. Get comfortable with following internal pulls without asking for the opinion of someone else. This involved being comfortable with f*cking up, being ok with making mistakes and trusting yourself to make the right move.
Is it easy? Not in my opinion. But looking back at how far I’ve come with my self-trust I am so grateful for the uncomfortable moments that pushed me here.
Finally, to wrap it up let’s do a little self-trust check in!
Ready? Ask yourself the following:
- Do I trust myself?
- Are there aspects of my life that I do/don’t trust myself in?
- How do I show myself that I trust my decisions?
Want to take it to the next level? Sign up for a free coaching discovery call – let’s build your confidence, self-trust and get you aligned with your goals.
**I am a Certified Life Coach via Universal Coaching Institute and a Professional in Human Resources via HRCI. I am not a therapist or medical professional. Please work with a medical professional when it comes to your physical or mental health.