A major discovery with my 30 day not so selfish challenge was that my confidence had grown ASTRONOMICALLY over the last year. A year ago I would have struggled with the confidence to post everyday on TikTok. Due to this revelation I want to share with you my thoughts on confidence building.
Over the last year I’ve done some deep digging, soul searching & authenticity finding & I’ve rediscovered my confidence. Before we begin I have two lessons to share with you that I believe to be true
1. Confidence is like muscle. We all have it. We all can build it and it’s easier for some people to build than it is for others.
2. When you are being your most authentic you, it’s easier to be confident.
Confidence is a Muscle
A lot of being confident is learning to love yourself. It’s trusting yourself. And the only way to do that is to keep promises to yourself, set healthy boundaries, be nice to yourself when you fuck up & find ease.
This takes time, practice & support! (It’s what I love helping people with. It can start at home or in the workplace) It also takes a willingness to be uncomfortable so that you can change. A big lesson of confidence building for me was that discomfort is not bad. It does not mean that something is wrong. Being uncomfortable can mean you are growing. Trust yourself to know the difference between growth and being out of alignment.
Authenticity – Your Confidence Rock
This will hold you when your confidence wavers & it involves a lot of self love and self trust to be like “hi, I think this is who I am and I know that this is how I want to act”. Being authentic in its truest form means that your goals & desires stem from who you truly are and where you want to go. Authentic actions are main character energy. You get to be the main character in your life; quit acting like an accomplice.
Authenticity is key to confidence because when you move form a place that is right for you the opinions of others weigh less. I’ve had harder conversations this year than any year in the past. Over the last 12 months the conversations I’ve had with former employers, coaches & potential clients (this is why I always screen them with a free discovery call – some people just suck) would have crushed me. People were mean, callous, jealous and honestly wasting my time but since I had started tapping into what worked for me I was able to let the things they said go. Feedback is important but in the end anyone else’s opinion of you is the least important piece of information you will receive. Do you like you? Do you think you did your best? If I can say yes to both of those then I don’t let the things people say get to me.
You have to do what works for you. Take the opinions of others in like data points but make your decisions based on how you feel about yourself. You are your most important relationship – remember that.
Practice Practice Practice
Honestly, the best way to gain confidence is to practice it. Do something that scares you a little, then do something that scares you a little more & so on until you begin to feel the change within you. It builds like a muscle. And if you’re ready to build confidence but need a direction to start in – hit me up! Discovery calls are free, we can chat about it & make a plan. Coaching options range from $5 journal prompts to monthly coaching memberships with 1:1 chats with me available.
Let’s go be more confident! Ok? Ok.
**I am a Certified Life Coach via Universal Coaching Institute and a Professional in Human Resources via HRCI. I am not a therapist or medical professional. Please work with a medical professional when it comes to your physical or mental health.