Let’s make things easy (or at least easier)!
As the former Queen of Overcomplication I’m on a constant hunt for more ease in my life. I’m consistently looking for ways to let myself relax, receive and lessen the difficulty level in my life. My search for ease has not been…well…easy and I think this is because of the aforementioned habit of overcomplication.
Recently I was chatting with a friend and we were digging into why we struggle to accept ease in our lives. We came to the conclusion that as women, life is harder for us, we expect things to be difficult and when things don’t meet those difficult expectations we begin to feel imposter syndrome. This week’s blog is all about this conversation and my journey to accept more ease in my life – let’s jump in!
It Can’t Be Easy for ME!
Until 2020 I subscribed to a limiting belief that for me and me alone everything must be hard. Other people can have ease but I was not allowed to let myself enjoy the things that were easy for me. If something was easy I struggled to feel like I achieved it. I felt like I was getting away with something or that I hadn’t somehow “earned” the ease. As if ease meant that I was cheating life or getting away with something I shouldn’t. I felt shame around a lack of perceived hard work.
I have intentionally looked for ways to make things harder because I doubted the validity of anything that was easy. My inability to accept ease had me doing mental gymnastics to find reasons why I couldn’t have things that were available to me. A surplus of self doubt and questions were abundant with every easy moment.
“Who am I stepping on to get here?” “How is my presence preventing the success of another?” “What right do I have to find ease in this?” In my mind everything had to come at a cost and the cost of ease must be negative.
Inability to Accept Ease
In short, I have spent the majority of my life worrying about breaking a “rule” that didn’t exist. A rule that unfairly declared that life has to be hard for ME. In hindsight not only is that stupid but it’s also a little narcisistic – as if the universe has time to sit there and actively plan against me. To undo the damage of this limiting belief I now tell myself the following.
Things don’t have to be hard.
Things can be easy sometimes.
You are allowed to accept what is offered to you.
Things do not HAVE TO BE COMPLICATED.
You are allowed to want and ask for more.
Silly little reminders but they were crucial to my newfound acceptance of ease.
If something goes your way, even if things are going sideways for everyone else, it’s ok to accept the easy route. When life hands you an easy option and it works for you – TAKE IT! If you are not hurting anyone else; you are allowed to take the short cuts.
Life is hard enough, shit hits the fan whether or not you accept ease. 2020 taught us that even when we think things can’t get stranger, worse or wilder – they actually can. So when the option arises take the easy way, accept help if you want to, allow yourself to enjoy the ease and save your energy for the fights that don’t have an easy option.
I hope my personal take on ease reminds you to let yourself go with the flow from time to time. If you want to chat more about ease, life planning, career goals or how to make a plan that is easy to stick to you can schedule a free discovery call here.
If you need help figuring out wtf you actually want to do with your life you can purchase my self-paced program here.
And if you want to boost your confidence and say yes to ease with gusto you can check out my confidence journal prompts here.
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