As a coach my job is to help you identify what you want to do, help you highlight an authentic functional path to get there and to help you stay motivated to get to your goal. Some of this work is strategy, some is mindset and a lot of it is helping you learn to accept change when it shows up.
I’m not going to sugarcoat or lie about change – it can suck sometimes. Change is hard. I know this because I’ve resisted change before. We resist change because it’s scary, there are unknowns and our “What If” Monsters LOVE to go rogue. Our options here are to either
- Reject change wholeheartedly, stay stuck and slowly grow miserable, uncomfortable or build pressure until we go with the change
- Lovingly embrace change, try to find clarity in what we want and set goals to grow to a place that fulfills us
Option 1 is always there, we can drag our feet and spend energy getting frustrated at change but I prefer to coach my clients towards Option 2. Once we begin to find the benefits in change we can spend less energy fighting it and reallocate our energy to moving towards our goals.
It’s Not Too Late to Change (your career, your life, whatever)
Something I hear a lot in my practice is “Am I too old to (insert big life goal or dream here)?”. The people who ask this question range anywhere from their mid-twenties to my Gen X clients. This question always breaks my heart because never has the answer been “yes”. Before I break this down further here is a very cliche but important reminder. You are not too old to try the new thing you want to try, you are not too old to go back to school, you are not too old to go after the things that you really want and if you truly want something there is no shame in trying to make it happen for yourself.
In summary, it is never too late to change. To help clients through this process I always ask them why they didn’t try working towards their desire earlier.The answers to this vary dramatically and give clarity on why now might be the perfect time to actual work towards this goal. I’ve worked with people who just thought of this goal in recent years, finally had the financial or time abundance to work towards their goal or people who waited because their fear and “What If” monster held them back.
Waiting for Inspiration v Stalling
You are not a bad person for waiting until you felt safe to go towards your goal. It does not make you less driven or a failure to wait to have financial security before chasing what you want – it’s your life you get to decide what is most important and sometimes things are outside of your control. I personally played this game myself.
For years I knew I wanted to start a Youtube channel and use social media to help people but I struggled to find the right way to do this – so I waited. Over the last couple years I realized that I could use social media as a way to help people with the things I struggled with like knowing what I wanted, learning how to ask for what I wanted, negotiating, setting boundaries with work and self-confidence building.
Why Going Slow Was OK
Once I got clarity on what I wanted to do I decided it was time to take action. I’m very grateful I waited. If I had not waited I might have gone down a less aligned path on social media, I may have tried building a brand around clothing or something less authentic to me and it would have been an unstable business adventure.
I am also glad that I started when I did. Building the confidence to start going after my goals and dreams was a huge undertaking. This was an opportunity to choose change and if I had not chosen change when it showed up I would have truly struggled adjusting to the roller coaster of 2020. And now I get to help others manage the twists and turns of choosing change. If you’re ready to try embracing change, reach out – I’m happy to help you find your niche, passion or big goal and make a plan to get there.
**I am a certified Life Coach and PHR. I am not a mental health professional.