no thank you

No Thank You

Things are beginning to re-open, mask mandates are being lifted, families are planning reunions and here is your reminder that you are allowed to say “No Thank You” to things you don’t want to do. 

No thank you is a complete sentence. It is a conversation ender, a reminder to others that you have boundaries, and it is one of my favorite phrases. No thank you is not rude, it is not offensive and if uttered appropriately it is the queen of boundary setting! 

As you can tell, I love the word no. It empowers me. I love it so much I’ve already shared a blog about it! But even with my obvious adoration for the phrase here is a reminder that we were not always this close. My friend no did not always live in my boundary setting toolkit. In pre-covid times I used it sparingly due to a fear of being perceived as rude. A major fear of setting boundaries put me in a place where I would overextend myself often. I consistently poured from an empty cup.

Over the course of the last couple years I began to crack under the strain of consistent burnout from my inability to say no. I had to learn to say no and stay firm in the boundaries. It was not an easy journey. So now I want to remind you that you too can decline invitations that make you uncomfortable.

A Post 2020 You Might Want to Say No Thank You More!

Shelter in place and 18 months of consistent quarantine has made me very selective about how I spend my time. I no longer pour from an empty cup, opting for saving my energy for projects, people and clients that I am passionate about. A key part of this change has been getting really comfortable with saying “No Thanks!” to many things that no longer align with me. I’ve let friendships that did not align naturally grow distant, I reject projects that don’t align with my business and I do not offer to work with clients who don’t mesh with me.

After spending this much time focusing on growing myself and my business has built my confidence in boundary setting and being able to confidently and politely say “No Thank You” is crucial for my energy preservations. Setting boundaries like these has made me feel more fulfilled with my work and less stressed by my day to day life. 

As the world reopens and people go from extreme isolation to large group gatherings it’s ok to feel uncomfortable. Needing time to process the last 18 months does not make you a bad person. Being hesitant of group gatherings does not mean you are “living in fear”. Setting boundaries and refusing to attend group gatherings does not make you anti-social. Remember to take your time coming out of your home, be patient with yourself while you re-adjust to in person socializing. Remember that you have the power to say “No Thank You” to things you don’t want to do! 

Need someone to chat it out with? Life & Career Coaching sessions are available here!

ghostwriting

Ghostwriting Announcement

I’m Adding a Ghostwriting or Co-Author Service to my Business!

I’ve added a new offer to my Fiverr – ghostwriting services for any short ebook, journal or coaching program.⁠ In this post I’m going to break down what that means and how you can employ my services as a small business owner, coach or individual looking for help with a non-fiction text!

Ghostwriting services
Ready to go from idea to action? I’m here to help!

Why Ghostwriting?

After publishing both of my ebooks, I was met with a plethora of requests from other coaches to help them turn their ideas into ebooks or create journal prompts that align with their programs. This made me realize that many coaches are excellent orators and teachers but when it comes to writing they lack the confidence or time make it happen. As someone who is comfortable behind the keyboard, I’m excited to be able to provide a service for others to build their eBooks. Helping other people share their knowledge and gifts with their clients brings me immense joy!

With this offer I help coaches, small businesses or individuals write their PDF download, eBook or create journal prompts.

To do this I first require clients to share their subject matter with me. At this step we also select a book length so we can determine the price. After a price has been agreed upon, I will request a written idea or outline to build the ebook or program. After I have the subject and length I will request the tone and either a writing sample or an example of the tone they are looking for (this can be anything from an instagram story to a voice-note from the author about the subject). From there I create the copy for them and provide an opportunity for feedback and edits. My clients have full control over distribution and they can begin selling it to their clients or sharing it with their audience once the final payment has been received.

In other words I take you from idea to ebook leaving you free to do the things you enjoy and excel at!

Why Should You Hire Someone to Help You Write

You can absolutely write an ebook or coaching program on your own! But is that really how you want to spend your time? By using a ghostwriter you can leave the writing to me while you focus on your clients! As a small business owner or coach you should play to your strengths. It is ok to outsource the things you do not enjoy!

If you need one more reason to work with me here are my credentials. I am a certified life and career coach. I have two self published coaching programs and a B.A. in English from UCSB.

In conclusion, let’s turn your idea into action! You can find the gig over on Fiverr and you can find samples of my work below!

Confidence Building Journal

Coaching Program ebook

languishing

Languishing & Flow

Languishing is the term of the year! In case you missed the NYT article about languishing I’ll give you a brief definition. Languishing or languish is the term we are using to describe the listless, distant and uncomfortably numb feeling that has been prominent throughout the pandemic. Languishing is a feeling of “blah” and according to psychologists a great way to combat this feeling is to practice mindfulness or try to tap into a state of flow. 

As a big fan of meditation I realize that it is not always an ideal tool to motivate me (motivating myself to sit still and quiet is difficult) so I want to share with you all some of the ways I’m tapping into PLAY in an attempt to find flow!

languishing and flow
Another way to practice flow is to sit down and journal! Here is a prompt to get you started.

Flow is the state where we are in the ZONE. Think about the times you’ve been so enthralled in what you are doing you’ve lost track of time – that’s flow. Apparently out friend flow can help us get out of a state of languishing. To help you on your journey to flow I’m linking a blog post all about play – use it to identify ways you can keep yourself mentally healthy and happy. I’ll include a photo below of how I tap into flow through play! 

Want to talk it out? Sign up for a Life or Career Coaching session!

Let’s talk about ease to combat languish!
tell me what you want review

So…Tell Me What You Want?

Let’s kick confusion to the curb and identify what you really want to do!

I don’t have to tell you that the last year has been a lot. Human’s in general are not huge fans of change, especially change we cannot control, and 2020 was nothing if not chaos. Now a new change sits in front of all of us. As vaccinations roll out we have to unpack the chaos that came up over the last year, take a long look at who we are now and how we fit into the world. This change can feel daunting and isolating if we go at it alone, which is why I’m excited to announce a new iteration of my program “But Really Tho What Do YOU Want?

Really Tho What Do YOU Want provides clarity, simplicity, structure and motivation to get to your goals. This self-paced program is getting a makeover – we are turning it into a 7 week masterclass designed to help you stay accountable to your goals. Masterclass will include weekly Zoom calls (recorded and emailed out for anyone who misses a call), live Q&A for each section of the program, a PDF copy of the WDYW ebook and discounts for any future 1:1 sessions!


So, are you ready to embrace change and make it manageable for you? Let’s start clearing up the confusion around what you want to do with your life! In this 7 week masterclass we will be checking in with YOU, what YOU want and how YOU want to get there! The masterclass starts 7/8/2021 and you can book your spot at the pre-sale price here!

self-confidence

A Lack of Self-Confidence

This week in my vlog I chatted about self-sabotage and how it stems from a lack of self-confidence! I shared my journey with self-sabotage and self-confidence in my life, career and my business. The video is embedded below.

Let’s chat confidence!

When I first started the coaching branch of my business, I struggled with confidence. I had the fear of judgement, fear of failure around me and I held a lot of resistance against getting to do something I actually enjoyed because I had this weird belief that everything in life had to be inconvenient and hard. This lack based mindset created a really slow start to a really exciting new part of my business. Lack based thinking also made me think that I needed to play small to be palatable and that I needed to keep my opinions to myself (which we all know is almost impossible for me and incredibly inauthentic).

Now that I am a lot stronger in the confidence department I thought it would be illuminating to share with you some of the ways I played small and sabotaged my growth due to a lack of self-confidence. 

Starting a Business During a Pandemic while Building Self-confidence

The first issue I created for myself was pacing. I took my sweet sweet time getting started because I was SCARED. Outside of things I couldn’t control like receiving my paperwork from the county, I kept myself small and slow when it came to selling. I did not want to inconvenience people I knew with my business….which is a horrible way to run a business. I was terrified of asking people to buy, saying the wrong thing or being perceived as pushy. To get over this confidence block I had to get consistent about selling and practice practice practice. I am happy to say that now that I have confidence in myself and what I offer I love selling. I truly embodied my confidence and that has not only allowed me to sell but it has also enabled me to be a better coach. 

Let’s revisit the drama of starting my business

Quitting Before I Started

Another way I self-sabotage is by quitting before I start. An example of this is gardening. When I first decided to buy plants for my patio I took the advice of my friends and family and bought some pretty annuals. I murdered those plants within weeks. At this point I looked at my patio and thought “maybe I just can’t have a pretty patio garden like other people”…this was a wildly over dramatic reaction to “failing” once. “I can’t” is a self-development enemy. By telling ourselves we can’t do something we have already decided that we will never be successful so why give it our all. I am happy to report that my very dramatic self got over her fear of being a patio plant failure and now has a moderately robust garden. Don’t quit after a set back, friends! 

Lofty Goals can Allude to a Lack Self-confidence

For my final example of self-sabotage I’m going to talk about lofty goals. When we set inordinately hard, high or unrealistic goals we are self-sabotaging under the guise of believing in ourselves. BIG BIG GOALS are good; they are important and they motivate us. Setting an unachievable  timeline to achieve those goals makes us feel ungrateful for what we do accomplish because we can’t get to the desired end result. I think that setting big goals is good but asking ourselves to be overnight successes is not. We cannot hold ourselves to rapid growth and when we do we are setting ourselves up for failure. 

Asking for overnight change also tells us that we don’t trust or believe in the person we are now. By setting a goal to be a completely different person overnight we tell ourselves that we don’t trust ourselves to get there if it takes longer, that we don’t love or trust the person we are right now and that the person we are right now is not capable of the end result we want. We have to set the individual goals first that’ll get us to that larger accomplishment.

Finding the confidence to love who you are right now and trusting yourself to get to your goal is where the magic happens. For me, the moment my mindset shifted to self-trust and self-confidence I was able to start selling confidently, build products that help people and I stopped worrying how my content was going to be perceived. I gave up on trying to live up to someone else’s definition of success and found a way to live up to my own version. 

Let’s Build Self-Confidence


I hope this motivates you to embody more confidence in your life and prioritize confidence in your personal development. If you want a little help getting started check out my confidence building journal and sign up for a free discovery call – let’s see if my coaching and confidence methods are right for you!

confidence journal image

Confidence Journal: 35 Days To A More Confident You

“Confidence is like a muscle, we all have it, we all can build it. For some of us the confidence muscles will build easily and for others it will take a little more work – life is unfair like that sometimes.” – An excerpt from my Confidence Building Journal

I am elated to present to you my newest creation, a confidence building journal titled “Confidence Building Journal: 35 Days to a More Confident You”. This journal is available as a Kindle eBook or a paperback journal. 

Use this journal to build your confidence by defining confidence for yourself, identifying what embodying confidence looks like for you and by helping you build a steady journaling practice. The prompts are there to guide you through the journey but the route is customized by you. 

I created this journal partially out of spite (you can learn a bit more about where the idea to self-publish it came from in the video below) but my true motivator was to make coaching more accessible to more people. 

As someone who has benefitted from 1:1 coaching I know how hard it can be to find the time and money to actually invest in this so I wanted to create a stepping stone to 1:1 coaching. This program is not a replacement for customized care but it is an excellent tool to get you on your way to a more confident place! 

I focused this journal on confidence because confidence is key in our careers, day to day lives and relationships. It is important to me that people feel empowered by their daily decisions and have the strength to speak up when it matters. 

That being said I hope you enjoy the journal and I cannot wait to hear about your confidence journey! You can purchase the journal here.

And if you want to use the journal to jumpstart your 1:1 coaching schedule your discovery call here. All monthly coaching members can receive the journal free of charge with a paid monthly membership