You Are Not Your Job

I’m just going to say it – you are SO MUCH MORE than your job.

When you introduce yourself how do you do it? In the past I’ve always said “Hi I’m Emily – I work in HR at BLANK company.” And before that I was “Emily – and English major at UCSB”. I wouldn’t even say I valued my job more than my hobbies or family life – it was just status quo to describe myself based on what my “current job” in society is at the time. We’re just going to start with the facts here – you are not your job YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

You are so much more than your job!

With 8.2 million Americans (at the time I’m writing this) collecting unemployment right now I think a lot of us are grappling with this concept. Who are we when we aren’t working? What is our value without our jobs?

We have to disconnect our self worth and our careers.

 So how do we detangle our self worth from our jobs? How do we live a life with a fulfilling career that doesn’t own our happiness and security? I’ve got a four ideas for us to try.

Self love

I know, I know, I bring this up A LOT but that’s because it is vital to our happiness. You have to love yourself as an individual – not for your output. To untangle ourselves from our careers we have to identify who we are and why we are worthy of love (spoiler alert: its because we are alive). When we embody self love we see ourselves as individuals by doing that  we’ve separated our worth from our outputs. I’ve got a video on embodying self love if you need a little more inspiration on it.

Self Love Club Party

Find your wants

Another way to seperate yourself from what you do is to ask yourself what you want. This is a loaded question so spend a lot of time with it. It’s important to find what you want not what others want for you. Think about it in a silo – if you could have whatever you wanted with no strings attached what would it look like? Dig deep.

Kick comparison and competition to the curb

A little competition doesn’t hurt but try to reduce competition and quiet your competitive nature. Once you know what you want you can use it to stop comparing yourself to other people – especially people who don’t want the same things as you. It’s totally fine to want to be the best at things or do them well but you don’t need to compete with people who aren’t even running the same race as you. When you stop competing unnecessarily you can be grateful for what you have and how far you have come.

Phone a friend

Lean on friends and family to help build you up. If you’re reallllly struggling to remove your worth from your work as a trusted friend or family member if they are willing to describe you. Odds are good they will describe your qualities as a friend – not your career.

These are just a couple tips to help separate your worth from your work. Practice self love, identify what YOU want, quiet your competitive nature (just a bit) and lean on friends to help build you up.  Remember you are not your job – you are a beautiful, authentic, individual human with unique hobbies, interests and qualities. Sending you lots of love!

Quarantine Lessons: I Threw Away My Daily Schedule

Last week I had to remind myself to take my own advice

Up until two weeks ago every Monday -Friday of the last five years has been directed by my work Google Calendar. I’m a self-proclaimed hater of being told what to do but I have to admit that the whiplash from going from having every moment planned to a completely empty slate was a lot to take. 

To help ease the discomfort of having no structure for the foreseeable future I took control. During the first week I set myself a type A personality worthy schedule. I gave myself a plan for each day, a timeline for working on personal projects, physical goals and creative play.

Where Things Went Wrong

While the plan itself was well intentioned I made a major mistake. I ignored my body’s personal cues and didn’t ask myself if the schedule felt authentic. I followed the advice of mental health experts and online articles and attempted to maintain my weekday 6:30 am morning routine. I remained mentally rigid about when I woke up, worked out and worked on personal projects – treating my creative babies like work instead of play.  In an attempt to maintain normalcy I sacrificed flexibility – and I failed miserably. 

Unfortunately for my beautiful, color coded schedule –  I’m a night owl by nature and I SUCK at mornings. My natural sleep cycle sits somewhere from 11pm-8am. Due to the pressures from society to “fit it all in” with work, fitness, creative fulfillment and socializing I’ve spent YEARS trying to convince myself to be a morning person. Sometimes I almost believe it. But, naturally I’m not good at mornings so by day 3 of my furlough I was staying up too late, sleeping in and “throwing off” my perfect plan for the day. It made me feel like a failure. I could feel the perfectionist thoughts sneaking back in so I pumped the brakes and threw away my schedule

Pressing Pause

Thinking back on my schedule I tried to identify why I was so rigid about it. Practicing some of my tools from my authenticity video, I re-evaluated why this wasn’t working. I was worried that without every moment dictated to me, the project planned out, every goal outlined in the tiniest tangible steps, that somehow I was going to miss a step or misuse my time. I dug deeper and realized that I was judging myself for not having what I’ve always been told was a successful person’s schedule. We’ve all seen those articles on LinkedIn about how Joe CEO wakes up at 4:45am everyday and that’s why he’s successful. Those articles are full of shit. And the worst part was that I was comparing myself to people that I didn’t even want to be like. I realized I was being hypercritical of myself – I didn’t trust myself with free time. 

So I had to treat myself like I would a friend. I would NEVER hold anyone else to a daily schedule at this time or try to convince them that if they didn’t plan out every moment they would fail – so I had to stop doing it to myself. We are all our own worst critics and I am no exception. 

Building Trust with Myself

With my newfound freedom from structure I looked at all the things I wanted to do and made a plan – not a schedule. I now have a daily to do list with chunky timeframes to do it in and a lot of extra room for exploration. I still have big plans and I want to stay on top of things but right now there is no reason to live life according to anyone else’s agenda – I’ve literally got nowhere else to be. An unprecedented time calls for an unprecedented schedule. I’m much happier with my glorified daily to-do list than I was with my color coded calendar. 

I hope this inspires you to take stock of your day to day and look at what’s serving you. Ask yourself what you really want, what feels authentic to you and if you are doing things that align with what makes you feel good about yourself. If you can, try letting go of what’s not serving you right now – odds are you don’t need it. 

A little extra self love motivation for you